Have you been Battling Exhaustion for a long time and simply don’t know what to do or how? Otherwise it just goes on and on!! Oh, I would complain about being tired, but I had idea!! I must slumber and sleep. Jennifer Maggio writes in her latest article about battling exhaustion. The defining word of my experience as a single parent is exhaustion. And let’s face it, it’s amazing and hardcore that we can do so much on almost no sleep. Pretty sure I never really understood exhaustion until now. Anyway, I know this is a long comment, but I just wanted to reach out from one single mom to another and offer encouragement and thanks and prayers. The bottom line is that single moms are like small business owners with our ninja-like abilities to multitask, create, manage and operate within a budget and problem solve. I sure understand how your bedtime routine can take hours! Period. Hard as I try, I cannot get a good night’s sleep. Thank you for sharing your precious time with us. A single mom doesn’t have the luxury of falling deeply asleep since she is the sole caregiver of her children. The reality, however, is I can’t because unlike the Lord, I do slumber and sleep. I am a single mom to a 4 year old and an 8 year old. I never imagined that at 42, I would be living this life; I really thought I would be well-rested by this stage of my life. I know, this is hardly a surprise to us single moms. There is literally no time off for a single mom and as a result it’s been proven that we are the most sleep deprived demographic of people. The upside is that we don’t spend time feeling disappointed in another person for not doing things our way or on our timeline. You know the feeling of dragging yourself out of bed each day to conquer a never-ending to do list. We all know, being a single mom is hard! I am learning what it means to have total reliance on Him – which makes me question why I looked to the web for answers to single mom exhaustion and thank God He popped your article up first! Sarah Kowalski is a fertility doula, family building coach, Single Mom, and an expert in guiding women along the spiritual, emotional and logistical road to motherhood. But ask any single mom out there what’s the best decision she ever made, and she’ll tell you: It was having her children. Has it been more than two years since we prayed together? Maybe we feel like we must compensate for the absence of another parent, or our child is simply the light of our life. And, most importantly, I love you! Images of tired but resilient single moms who just hang in there, day after day, and figure it out (often with so little recognition). You can follow her on Twitter @ChoiceMamaBaby or on Facebook. And after your kids go to bed, you probably tell yourself to go to bed right away. Many Czech girls found their true love in our online dating database, many of them became Czech Brides as well! I was five months pregnant (surprise!) A compreensive list of books on the topic to share with your child. […] Single moms – https://momlifetoday.com/2011/06/single-parenting-an-adventure-in-exhaustion/ […]. Get it done!”. Single Moms in Quarantine, Happy Mother’s Day–I See You! We just buckle down, figure it out and get it done. And honestly, as a single mom, this likely looks a lot different than you might think. Ironically though, according to the same study, even though single moms regularly lack sufficient sleep, they’re actually less likely (than people without kids) to take sleeping medication. Single moms are incredibly devoted to our kids (maybe sometimes at the cost of other relationships in our lives). Get a free birth prep checklist and resource guide. My boys are the Best kids, but I’m tired of always being the one to push them (to study, to brush their teeth, to fill-in-the-blank) and yes, the sleepless nights are also wearing on me at times. Looking so forward to reading more from you in the future. Praying for you! Thank You THANK YOU!!! We're so glad to have you here! This guide provides a framework for these difficult conversations. So, all of you single mamas, remember what a badass you are. Do you believe that it is possible to be well-rested Daily, I am work on forgiving him for things he continues to do (and am working on forgiving myself too!) It seems like I spend all my time and energy taking care of others only to feel depleted and drained at the end of the day. We keep our eye on the important stuff. There isn’t anyone to call on for back up. He is GOOD! . I was also a “white picket fence mom” but am now 100% positive I never understood exhaustion until becoming a single parent. Being a single mom is pretty much as tough as it’s cracked up to be, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love it. I'm so thankful that God is gonna use this situation in my life for good – sometimes it's way too easy to forget He has a good plan in the midst of the yuck! I am an introvert and my kids are both extroverts! After making it through that first night alone, I was totally empowered and knew from that moment on that I could do ANYTHING! My mother raise all of us kids for 11 years alone and I look up to her so very much for it and I know how exhausted and hard she worked. I found that it just isn't realistic! I'm in awe of single parents. with our fifth little boy at the time. But now’s your chance to do some laundry, empty the dishwasher, check email, have some time alone in the bathroom without a toddler hanging on you (or interrupting you) or to simply have a few glorious moments to zone out on the couch (hopefully with a glass of wine in hand). We’re used to going it alone. I have a husband, home, four kids, five dogs and a full-time business. How blessed I am to have such encouragers in my life! Actually, the best mother. That truly everything we have belongs to the Lord! 7. And there I was, new baby in arms, two 70-pound dogs at my feet and a very painful incision from my birth. “Damn straight,” I responded, maybe a little too enthusiastically, as I fumbled to set down my coffee and pastry so I could give her a high-five with my son balanced on my hip. Our work is rarely done. My glass is definitely raised to you. So, this article is my shout out to them. Here is my list of seven reasons single moms (as exhausted as we are) are true bad asses: 1. Find the woman of your heart today! Trying to understand the relevant policies and what they really mean? Oscars Best Picture Winners Best Picture Winners Golden Globes Emmys STARmeter Awards San Diego Comic-Con New York Comic-Con Sundance Film Festival Toronto Int'l Film Festival Awards Central Festival Central All Events Let's be honest, as a single mom, you're ALWAYS exhausted! God Bless…. HUGS! It’s no surprise to me that this is the case. Save endless hours of research and energy with this guide. Yet by the end of the day, my back aches. If you're new to single parenting, make sure you check out our guide to becoming a single parent. Categories When I had my baby as a single mom by choice (meaning I used a sperm donor to proactively get pregnant alone), I got a ride home from the hospital from some friends, three days post C-Section birth. I just Googled a search on “Single Mom Exhaustion” and this article came up. It feels like maybe I can’t really feel my feet. I will try it! It is difficult to nighttime parent. Single moms have to do it all, all the time. Single Moms. Last year, Harry Potter author JK Rowling talked about how, when she was a single mother, she was so depressed that she considered suicide, but was saved by thoughts of her daughter. UGH. I never imagined being blessed with five children. I know I sleep better when I have a list of reliable service providers that can help take care of things for me. And, maybe we’re just too darn tired to get worked up over small, petty things. Feeling overwhelmed? Before you know it, you can’t see straight and you realize you should have been in bed hours ago. Anyone who wants prayer for a bad dream usually gets the most uninspired prayer and, “Ok, you’re fine. From how to successfully juggle co-parenting to contact weekends, child maintenance payments, and every other aspect. I first crashed and burned from adrenal fatigue a few years ago. Thank you very very much. Has your child asked why his friends have no dad or why another friend has two moms? I also love your writing, so I am so happy to have found your blog! We would lose our house to foreclosure due to a lack of child support, his unwillingness to sell, and an inept and heartless court system. Can I tell you that over and over? I have all these grand plans to get my family organized, my home ordered, chores scheduled, adventures planned, and more sleep! Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), © 2020 Single Moms by Choice, Infertility and Egg Donors. My children are 8, 10, and 12. For some that may mean asking family and friends for assistance. Thank you so much for your idea! I know this seems like such an insignificant thing to do, but it’s not. I always have something to complain about, and I wouldn’t give up snuggling with my sweeties for just a few more winks anyway! Pretty sure I never really understood exhaustion until now. Privacy Policy: We hate spam and promise to keep your email address safe. I’m talking about spending quality time with each of my children. We just buckle down, figure it out and get it done. I’m realizing that much of my life is not as I imagined. I'll have to add that to my list! 76 percent of single mothers are gainfully employed, Even Single Moms By Choice Deserve Support -Cultivating Support. I believe despite my lack of sleep, God will give me grace to face each day with a new determination to love and live well. When I’m not well, I understand where she’s coming from. Creating an account is fast and easy and most importantly its Free. It’s been two years since I became a single mom to five wonderfully lovable and exhausting children. You’re a true superhero … on the days when you get out the door with coffee, kid and keys in hand AND on the more challenging days, when stress really mounts and you shine like a bright light anyway. It’s been two years since I became a single mom to five wonderfully lovable and exhausting children. The “wake Momma up” options are limitless. Single moms need help and we aren’t afraid to ask for it (or at least, we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help). As I reflected on what I handle each day, images of so many badass mamas flooded my mind. Get it done and move on. My husband is from a single-parent home, my sisters (3) were single parents, and I walk alongside of many single parents girl-friends SO THANKS for being a voice for so many. Some of that goes with the territory of being a mom and a teacher, but I finally got to the point where I couldn’t live in a state of complete exhaustion anymore. Sue, I am so glad to find you here. I never imagined being a single mom. Thank you so much! Not the sweet, loving mommy I want to be. They are, therefore, very popular with men and much sought after. But alas, I don’t have that option. Soooooo excited to be here! We can never relax. We’re incredibly devoted to their kids. We are all we have. Thanks again! There isn’t anyone to call on for back up. Easy tips to introduce the conversation. As busy working moms often do, I put myself last and ran myself ragged. and have learned that little things like houses don’t belong to us after all. Here is my list of seven reasons single moms (as exhausted as we are) are true bad asses: Single moms are responsible for all of it — bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan — childcare, maintaining a household and providing, both emotionally and financially. But add in three part time jobs and I'm sure we might be functioning on the same cognitive level. Instead, I visit a diffent child each bedtime to chat with and cuddle. As a busy working mom, I get it. My Love does go out to you and your family today, and I hope you all find the peace (and sleep!) Bless her and bless you. That means being resourceful, flexible, and tenacious. When you are a single mom with no help it is so much harder. A side effect of being a single mom is that I constantly feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Local Single Moms and Single Dads are looking for love online. Welcome Sue! I have loved your voice and music for a long time. Now my son is 2-years old, and I can safely say that I feel super human almost every day. The spectrum includes—but is not limited to—physical exhaustion, feeling burnt out, bored, frustrated, and a feeling of being defeated or … I really enjoyed reading your blog! I am utterly exhausted as a single mom of ONE, let alone FIVE! I was googling why am I so exhausted and this came up. Because there is no one else. Her change of life circumstance has led to a passionate desire to encourage and bless other single moms with the peace and joy she has found - in the midst of her crazy blessed life. Sign up to receive MomLife Today blog posts (about 3 per week) and Mom Prayers and Mom Thoughts (about 3 per week) by email. The defining word of my experience as a single parent is exhaustion. We are all our kids have. I’ll be lucky to live through this stage of my life. My bedtime routines seem endless — and I’m not referring to facial creams. I always feel so alone like no one has ever been through this and this helped me that there are others out there… I feel so guilty for my exhaustion especially when the kids want to play or go places. Learn the art of life balance . Sue Birdseye went from the typical "picket fence life" to being a single mom of 5 and subsequently became completely dependent upon the Lord. Sure, it’s good to keep the wrinkles away, the joints from aching, and the head from spinning, but I have found that lots of things are funnier when you’re exhausted. The boys and I had a hard time finding housing and experienced so many other minor tragedies I won’t get into here. We still have to do homework, cook dinner, keep the kitchen stocked and the laundry done, etc. I want to be the sweet, patient, loving mommy 24/7. Angie – you are a dear! Although he doesn’t know it, my son locks me into life. Have you ever slept so hard that when you awakened you couldn’t remember where you were or how long you had been there? Single parenting and sleep deprivation — a match made in … ummmm … well, it’s a match. They dropped me off and said they were going to a movie! Child Birth Planning Considerations for Pregnant Single Moms, Mindset Shifts–How To Make Difficult Choices (Like Becoming A Single Mom) Feel Positive. Battling Exhaustion as a Single Mom by Jennifer Maggio. I do a family story with all three (currently reading Swiss Family Robinson) and then I try to spend time connecting with each kid before lights out. Every single mom makes that choice because whether by widowhood, abondnment or seperation of the father we chose to see our childrens lives through. My bedtime is usually the next day (aka after midnight). My husband, whom I loved dearly and thought was my best friend, gave a week’s notice before moving out for a women he reconnected with on Facebook. It’s only happened to me a few times, in life, as I’m not a great sleeper, in general, but a few months ago, it did. I think I might sleep about two-to-three hours before the wake-mamma mission commences. May the Lord bless and keep you! Babies and toddlers need schedules. Even if I go to bed at a reasonable hour (and that is all relative), someone wakes me. If my husband doesn't come home to help me at the end of the day I don't know what I'd do. Ahh what a great tribute to being a great mother and you certainly sound like you are doing amazing with all that you do. I don’t know what I expected to find when I Googled single mom exhaustion, but it wasn’t your story or the parallels it has to mine. Single, Tags I think of you and pray for you still. Efficiency is the name of the game, sister! Thank you so much for sharing some of your precious time with us in writing this blog. Single moms don’t have a lot of time for drama. We know if we want something done, we’re on deck to do it ourselves. I LOVE YOU!!!! Don’t miss a single MomLife Today post!Subscribe by email. Chat to other single parents here about the joys and challenges of single-parent life. Yet, that income-earning job is only one of many “jobs” we hold. But more importantly, it takes believing that we can get it done. I tend to do all the wrong things. We know what’s important in life and that purpose acts as a shining beacon to keep us on track. Wondering How To Discuss Different Family Structures With Your Child? I have decided that sleep is overrated. Lately I’ve been feeling so exhausted and overwhelmed. I LOVE YOU. When all my sweeties are in bed or at least in the vicinity of bed, I begin lunches, laundry, dishes, and general mom-tasks. No, really, you’re fine.” If you are simply sharing your sleeping woes, you probably get, “Really?! Mad props to the women who do it day in and day out. It takes hours — really, hours. I … Just over 76 percent of single mothers are gainfully employed. As a single mom, I would love nothing more than to be able to find someone to share some of that weight with or, at the very least, be able to put it down for a while. With not enough hands to go around, a woman in the coffee shop overheard me muttering to my son, “Let’s see if we can do this.”, And she said, “Girlfriend, of course you can do it — you’re a mom, right? Single mothers don\'t have much time for dating but they are still looking for love, can you be the one that will give it to them? At 6pm, I came home from work, was in a conversation with my sweet daughter about the goings-on of her day, and … Being a mom with an infant and a toddler is exhausting even when you have help. That means being … « Road Trip Parenting, https://momlifetoday.com/2011/06/single-parenting-an-adventure-in-exhaustion/. But the downside is, well, we have to do it all! After conceiving her own son via both egg and sperm donor, she started Motherhood Reimagined to help others realize their dream of parenthood no matter what it takes. May the Lord bless you and keep you through all. For some reason, it isn’t all coming together as easily as I imagined. Single Czech women and Slovak Women Women are famous for their beauty, intelligence and positive attitude towards marrage and children. Regardless of father involvement we mom's could have high tailed it just as easily. Single moms work our butts off! I strive to be the best single mother there is. Oh, I would complain about being tired, but I had idea!! Are you overwhelmed trying to dechipher the policies, pricing and information? Single moms are responsible for all of it — bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan — childcare, maintaining a household and providing, both emotionally and financially. we long for. I so want to be the middle-of-the-night hero. I think I am destined to be deliriously tired. Wondering how to prepare and support yourself? Or maybe I do, but I’m not sure how much they hate me anymore. For others, that means figuring out who to call upon in their friend circle for help. Sue – thank you! Of course, juggling coffee and my kid is one thing, but that moment made me reflect on the enormity of what I have on my plate: running our own business, writing a book, owning and maintaining my own home, caring for two huge dogs, raising my 2-year old son, managing tenants — the list goes on. About a week ago, I was at a café, struggling to put a lid on my coffee, and carry my food order, wallet, car keys and my son all out the door at the same time back to my car. Put the phone down . The prospect of falling asleep and not being able to wake up easily or waking up groggy during an emergency likely terrifies most single moms. Since there’s often no one else to call upon to do the essentials, there’s no time wasted wondering whether someone else will step in. (Roar!). Hard as I try, I cannot get a good night’s sleep. The state of near-comatose exhaustion is making it hard to accomplish anything well or with a good attitude. Then there’s the sinking guilt of raising my son without his father and the exhaustion of having to do it all. She has been active in her community as a foster/adoptive mom and within her church's discipleship, women's and children's ministries. I am a single mom of three and I am always looking for inspiration. ?” See? I’m trusting God to use this season to make me into the woman He wants me to be. The fatigue that can come with mother or fatherhood (or for whom ever is doing the primary amount of parenting) is certainly not glamorous or boast-worthy, but it is a legitimate daily struggle for many of us. That’s what we do, Mama. My eyes are barely staying open. Thank you so much! There’s rarely a break and the weight of the world falls squarely on your shoulders. I Love You. My handyman has saved my sanity on more than one occasion! It should be said that there is a range of different types of exhaustion. My first inclination is to throw the covers back and let them climb in, decreasing my sleep even more (if that were possible). We never really get a break. My children need to slumber and sleep. Are there more kids than parents ? The beauty of it — even in the midst of my ridiculously not well-rested life — is the clarity I have found, the realization of what is truly important. Read on: Learn to say no. Thank you for your prayers – I will be praying for you as well dear one. 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